Lately I have been asking why. God… why? We have all been there. Asking God why He did something the way He did it. Or maybe it was a “why didn’t You do it MY way?”. “Why did this happen, don’t You want me to be happy?”. “Why did You not give me what I asked for?”. I have been struggling to figure out God’s answer to my “why” questions. But time and time again, He has shown me exactly why.
At the beginning of this semester God put on my heart to not date or seek out a relationship for at least this first semester of college so I could really pour into Him and find myself as “Jensen the college kid who’s living for Jesus”. He knew it was going to be tricky waters to swim in so He wanted me to set out a time to focus on Him and figure everything out one-on-one with Him. As I started living the ever-exciting (kinda) college life, that commitment I had made got pushed to the back of my mind. I was confronted with new friendships and new guys were popping up everywhere and I just got overwhelmed. It seemed like every guy that I met I was thinking to myself “is he a contender”, “would we work well together”, etc.. And as the semester continued those answers to my questions kept coming up as no’s. I got frustrated. I thought you were supposed to meet “the one” when you were in college?? (it is the first semester, I need to chill out). So I started asking God why. Why haven’t you brought anyone to me? This is the desire of my heart, don’t You want me to be in a God-glorifying relationship?
But then He answered.
A couple weeks ago my friend was going through a hard break-up. When we were talking through it on the floor of my dorm room, I remember her saying “I love him but I just need to focus on my relationship with God and really find myself as just myself”. *DING DING* He used that sucky situation to remind me of what He had planned this semester for Him and I to walk through and I wasn’t doing my part. I was supposed to be chasing directly after Him, not after a guy who would lead me to Him.
The other night my friend recently got a girl of his own and was sharing how that whole relationship came to be. His face was glowing the entire time he was telling us about her. He could not stop smiling and expressing how good the Lord is for bringing them together in such an unexpected way. By hearing the way he talked about this girl, God answered my why. He is having me wait because there is someone who will be so smitten and crazy for me the way my friend was with his girlfriend. By hearing this it has now given me incredible joy in the waiting.
If I would have had it my way, I would probably be hurting right now from a broken heart or building walls around my heart. But God, being all-knowing and ever-constant protected me. He knew what is best for me and how I should be using my season of singleness to pursue a deeper relationship with Him.
Let me just remind you how GOOD and how INCREDIBLE the God we serve is..
“By the word of the Lord the heavens were made, and by the breath of his mouth all their host.
He gathers the waters of the sea as a heap; he puts the deep in storehouses.
Let all the earth fear the Lord; let all the inhabitants of the world stand in awe of him!
For he spoke and it came to be; he commanded, and it stood firm.”
Psalm 33: 6-9
I don’t know about you, but I would much rather trust someone who speaks life into existence than an inconsistent human like myself. Why shouldn’t we trust his timing and judgement? He made the whole stinkin’ world and everything in it so He kind of knows how everything works! Put Your trust and hope into something greater than Yourself. Put your trust and hope into Him who proved Himself to be faithful on the cross. Psalm 18:30 says “This God- his ways is perfect, the word of the Lord proves true”.
Lord, thank you for speaking to me so clearly these past couple of weeks. Your scriptures tell us over and over again of how mighty and powerful You are. Let us firmly grasp and believe that, that we would know peace in trusting You. I pray over every longing heart, that they would turn their longing to You and focus their energy on knowing You deeper. Lord, You are our most important relationship. Remind us of this. We love You and thank You.