Thank you so much, Melody, for the awesome guest post on GNM you can check out her blog here.
In case you haven’t noticed, things won’t always go your way. You might want a sunny day, and then it rains. You might go to a restaurant and try to order your favorite thing, and it turns out they are out of it. Or, surprisingly, you might want one thing, and that doesn’t happen, but something even better happens instead. Like maybe you wanted to take a road you’re familiar with to get somewhere, but there is a detour, and you’re forced to go the other way, you’re forced to take a new and/or unfamiliar road. At first, you’d probably be really upset, “But I know this road! I can’t get lost on this road, I’ve been down it so many times! I know all the stops on this road, if I need food, I know where I can eat. If I need to fill up the car, I know exactly where all the gas stations are!” But you have no choice, so you take the new road. The other, a little scary and/or intimidating, unfamiliar road. And guess what? You see a rainbow as you drive, because on this road, there aren’t as many trees or buildings, and the sky is open to you. Because of that, you see a beautiful sunset as well. Along the road, there are colorful, charming little houses, each one unique and beautiful. You get hungry and so you stop a diner, and it turns out you love everything on the menu. The people here are nice, and point you to a local gas station, and you realize, maybe taking the new, unfamiliar, not-what-you-wanted, path was the better way all along. Lately, I’ve had a lot of redirection in my life. I was supposed to start going to a certain school come January. I was going to be with my friends, graduate with all of them, and get used to public school again so that college life would be easy. I was also going to move into my friend Tiffany’s house, which to me seemed like peace, because there’s only one dog, it’s clean, and it would be a change that I needed. It would also be quiet, I could focus on my school work, get stuff done, and succeed more than I feel I can at home. I was looking forward to it. But then things changed, a detour happened. The school I was supposed to go to denied me. They told me one thing for the past six months as I was preparing to go to the school, but when I got there they made up all this stuff and had changed their minds about allowing me to attend. There were things they said, “yes” to over the phone, but in person, they decided to say, “no”. And it was heartbreaking, I was really upset. I can’t graduate with my friends now, and I no longer had a reason to move into Tiffany’s house, an escape, a place where I could have a clear mind, and felt I could actually succeed. But, I was terrified of going to public school again. It’s so big, and there are so many rules I’ve lived without for the past few years, and so I was scared and was really very relieved when I found out I didn’t have to go anymore. No, I can’t graduate with my friends, but these people are still my friends, even if I can’t graduate with them. And no, I’m not moving into Tiffany’s anymore, but now I’m realizing I could just drop myself off at the Library, and hang there until I get all my school work done. It’s quiet, and I’ll be able to concentrate. I trust God knows what He’s doing and that everything happens for a reason. And this isn’t the end of all the redirection in my life, God’s been doing more. For the past six months or so, I’ve been interested in a certain guy, one that God has put on my heart, and continuously led me to. I trust that this is guy God’s been showing me over the years, and so I listened to God (mostly) as this was unraveling. But, then there was a roadblock that woke me up, which I mentioned in my last journal entry. See, magically, I thought this guy would know that I like him. I expected God to tell him for me, do all of the work, etc. That didn’t happen.(my friend pointed that though God gave the Israelites victory in their battles when they decided to rely on Him, they still had to go out and fight the actual battle. They didn’t get to sit at home, and let God do everything.) Finally, it came to the point where I realized, I’ve got to tell him how I felt. And I did. It was the craziest thing I’ve done in like, 10 years, but I did it. And it did not go the way I hoped. It hurt a lot not going my way, as in his reaction wasn’t what I hoped, and I had a really rough few days, but I realized God did not bring me this far just to leave me. No, it did not go my way, but it went the exact way it was supposed to go. We’re friends, and after calming down, I realized that was exactly what I wanted. And after flipping through my journal, I realized being his friend was my prayer, too. I am in no place to jump into a relationship, and if things had gone my way, that would’ve been my original intention. With everything going on in my life, I realized friendship is all I can handle, anyway. And best of all, this is where God wants me to be, this is where He wants this situation to be, and I am perfectly okay with that. I trust God, and if this is what He says and He wants, and then I’ll go with it, because that’s what I want, too. And through all of these things, even though they hurt, God let me know that He was with me the whole time. There was the one night of silence, but even then I felt God’s peace. He’s with me, with us, always, to the very end of the age. In closing, redirection may not always make sense, we may not be looking forward to it, in short, we may not like it. But we need it sometimes. I was scared to go to public school and go at a different pace. Thank God, I don’t have to do that anymore. I can take the time I need to be successful. And half of the reason I wanted to go to Tiffany’s was to run away from my problems, and I’m realizing there are other solutions, and I don’t have to be stubborn and have tunnel-vision. There isn’t always only one solution to a problem, it’s not always going to go my way and be solved how I want it to. And with this guy, I’m learning to be content when things don’t go the way I hoped or thought I wanted, I’m learning to be happy when things don’t go my way, and go God’s way instead because I know that’s better. And I’m not ready to be in any sort of relationship, and God knows that, even if I didn’t want to admit it. So in reality, though it looks like a bunch of detours, u-turns, and Atlanta Georgia Traffic, everything is going exactly the way it’s supposed to, and because I know it’s from God, I am okay with that. And if everything in your life seems to be going crazy, just look right back at God. He’s bigger, and He knows what He’s doing, trust me on that. And trust God, He’ll get you through it all.
You are LOVED!!